Wednesday, August 08, 2007


It's been months, yes months since I've been able to go running. Life always seems to get in the way. But today as my body woke from its half-slumber, the following thoughts occurred to me...thoughts so vast and frequent they came two by two, as if cramming to get in the door before the opportunity would be lost.

Sometimes it feels as if I've been tied to other obligations for so long I will never get back to what I yearn I might be capable of. Still, it's all in the becoming.

As my legs push off against the pavement, and when it feels so hard, I am suddenly awash in gratitude:

I have legs!
I have hands!
I have thoughts I can speak out loud!
Thoughts spill into action
Unlimited possibilities
All in one moment
Released from captivity

Observing the path in front of me, dodging fallen branches, stones, or avoiding a muddy pit, I carefully pick my way across the scratchy brown earth.

Then grass, as soft and squishy as my thighs have grown waiting their turn. Not much resistance to push against. Cush makes any rhythm feel sluggish.

When I get to the concrete pavement, my body relishes pushing off something hard, solid, difficult. It's a challenge, but like all challenges I like that it wakes up my muscles after soft or picking. The challenge feels good. I feel my power. I feel capable. I feel fully alive. And I am. I am awake.

The path changes again and my legs adjust, just as we do in life when life happens. Grateful for the hard, grateful for the soft, grateful not to be in a pit, grateful to just to be here and be free to move.

I breathe deeply and expand my consciousness forward, backward, yesterday, tomorrow, and to all the hearts seen and unseen.

In every moment, possibility. In every moment, expansion, or contraction. And the awareness that when we are moved, even if we don't know how or why, open hearts rush in. And they do.

I think of a friend. A friend in the midst of change. A friend whose finely tuned words have both recognized and soothed me. Her words are music, medicine. I send love and hope the sadness has been washed away at least a bit.

There are words that come for her. May they be medicine too:

Nothing was taken away from you.
You created this abundance.
You can create it again, anywhere.
That's what being a Creator is: filling your life with beauty and abundance and wonder wherever you are, in any moment, in any place.

I am here to remind you, my dear Prema,
that you can create whole universes in a blade of grass.
I believe that and know it to be so.

Breathe in fullness
Breathe out anything that isn't love.
Your very breath is an act of love.
All you touch is love.
All you release returns to love
And opens a space for more love…

Let the tears cleanse your eyes so that you may see again.

Let go and let the river carry you on its journey…for ahead lie vistas unimaginable.

Trust that it may be so.

With disagreements, altercations, separations, culminations, physically and environmentally I see upheaval and change all around me right now. It can be perceived as great loss and frustration, or transition and great transformation. I am filled with compassion, for I have been in the sadness, in the wanting too, and it is a mighty current.

And, at the same time, there is always so much to be grateful for, and worlds to create.

Though not always on it, that is the current I will do my best to surf.


Carrie Wilson Link said...

This is lovely, Go Mama! I hope the same things for Prema, and for you!

Jerri said...

Beautiful, T.