1. I miss that raging do-me-right-now, in a chair, up-against-the-wall-of-a-building kind of sexuality I used to have. Now, sex is so intimately connected to the possibility of life, and death, and the knowledge of how all that changes everything, that that wild in my body God-given feminine power has somehow lessened and become tamed. Sorry, but it's true. Womanly hips and clogs have replaced my come-f-me pumps. The only kind of do me right now I feel is for a cocktail! Or a nap.
2. I miss the tautness of my abs, the firmness of my thighs, and my ability to feel fully dressed in a cut-off wife-beater, mini skirt and rocker boots. When did my Forever 21 days go Lands End! I also miss my perky little A-cups, and would trade in these C-pluses any day without regret.
3. I too miss feeling rested, or getting more than 5 hrs sleep/night. I miss rolling out of bed at 10:30 in the morning to leisurely sip my coffee in silence. I look in the mirror and wonder where the last 6 years went. I feel old and tired and could pack a lunch in the bags under my eyes.
4. Showers! OMG, what happened to showers? I used to always start my day with one. Now I'm lucky if I end my week with one! (Note: when several people ask you, "Hey, did you get your hair done?" and you reply "no, I just washed it," you might want to rethink that shower thing! This happened to me recently.)
5. I don't feel the need to qualify that I love my daughter intensely because that goes without saying, but I desperately miss my independence and having the responsibility be only to myself, my needs, and my work. Now I work when I should be sleeping since that seems to be the only quiet, uninterrupted time in the house.
Bonus round:
God, I miss silence!
Or living without a color-coded family schedule.
Or not having to hide things like Sharpies and gum and chocolates.
Or actually finding something where you last left it.
Or wearing nice jewelry without worrying it will be toyed with and broken.
Or making only one dinner, although I'm doing that more and more now.
Or talking on the phone for hours. OMG, what did we talk about?
I miss feeling no sense of civic responsibility, and the freedom to be as selfish as I want to be.
And sometimes, just sometimes, I even miss my naiveté…
What do you miss?
3 comments:
Great list! Again, so universal! You will get all these things back (well, not the A-cups, sorry) and then you will FULLY appreciate them like you never did before you lost them. That's the gift!
I miss the ability to totally space out while standing in the kitchen. I miss size 8 everything. I miss believing that I am without rage. I miss feeling attractive.
LOVE your list. Making me think....might have to do something with that thought.
Great great list. Can't answer your question yet, but I will work on enjoying all those things while I still can.....
Post a Comment