Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Floating In The Sea Of Salts


From Writer's Life #2:

I am so grateful to be home. Not a house kind of home, but an internal one. This is me. This is for real. I can do this. And I am. It takes a lot of courage--audacity really--to be who we are. To be real. Authentic. To drop the veil and reveal the truth. I am doing it. We all are, together, surrounded by one circular embrace.

I log onto my email account and am reminded to be grateful for the interconnectedness of our lives. Thanks to Entourage (my email program), my emails are sorted into neat little categories. An internal wave swells over me, expanding from my heart, up and out to the universe.

I am so lucky to be surrounded by great women friends…my immediate mama circle, the larger metropolitan mama group, the dynamic circle of moms from our preschool ("the doers" I call them), the virtual moms in cyber space and the moms right in the room. I am so thankful to be included, caressed by their care, nurtured by their friendship, inspired by their strength, and spirit of cooperation. We all help each other. We share each other's burdens, we swap stories and advice, we share playdates, cocktails and life.

I hold a vision of women, each powerful jewels, dynamic and flawed, joyous in their humanity, forging the center outward, each one cutting her own path, which then connects to the larger outer circle.

Jody had her baby…it's a girl. A sister. A woman. A fresh soul enters as old pain washes away. New light has arrived as we excavate our truth.

I am happy. I am sad. I am open. I am tired, and all this is true too.


* * *


I float in the sea of salts, calmly, peacefully, drifting off to another place far away. Time is suspended indefinitely.

Something pulls me back into lucidity as a pair of white birds--is it geese or swans?-- are flying straight towards me. Mouths open, wings flapping, heading straight for my throat. For a moment I am startled, frozen even, ready for the attack.



"Bring it on!" I rejoice, suddenly freed from the fear, "Bring it on!"


My detachment shifts the trajectory and now we're heading up to the sky. Large, feathery white wingspans pump gracefully higher and higher…until we ARE the sky.


5 comments:

Go Mama said...

The swan is an important motif in Advaita Vedanta. It symbolises two things: first, the swan is called hamsah in Sanskrit (which becomes hamso if the first letter in the next word is "h"). Upon repeating this hamso indefinitely, it becomes so-aham, meaning, "I am That".

Secondly, just as a swan lives in water but its feathers are not soiled by water, similarly a liberated Advaitin lives in this world full of maya but is untouched by its illusion.

from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Advaita_Vedanta

Suzy said...

Tanya
Love the "not a house kind of home, but an internal one." Your writing is graceful and flowing.
Love,
Suzy

Carrie Wilson Link said...

I love your writing. Now you're a "favorite" that I'll be compulsively checking. Can't wait to read what's next!

Lee Wolfe Blum said...

me too me too...(on the subject of how your blog is now in my favorites and I will be checking back often :) ) I love your writing. It is rich and beautiful! I am so happy you created a blog! You go girl!! I am here cheering you on all the way!
Lee

jennifer said...

As good here as it was over taterbugs and vino! Good job.